


Josh Brings a Friend

by aprofessorbhaer



Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Aromantic, Asexual Character, Asexuality, Asexuality Spectrum, Awkwardness, Betrayal, Confessions, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Embarrassment, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Innuendo, Intimacy, Kissing, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Female Character, LGBTQ Themes, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Nudity, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Queer Character, Queer Themes, Queer Youth, Rescue, Sharing a Bed, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-09-27 05:05:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 15,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9970529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aprofessorbhaer/pseuds/aprofessorbhaer
Summary: An additional person at the lodge changes the course of the story.OrSomeone gets to Hannah before she gets hurt (badly) and the story doesn't get the chance to become horror. Because I like characters but not scares.Also, queer stuff.





	1. The Invitation

I was walking beside my friend, blowing on my hot chocolate while trying to figure out how to smoothly decline his well-meant invitation. “Look, Josh, I appreciate your desire to bring your poor penniless friend along to the lodge on a mountain your family owns, but I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Josh looked actually surprised, like he didn’t know me well enough to expect that answer. “Why not, Sarah? C’mon, it’ll be fun! We’ve been talking about how you need to meet my friends. This is the perfect opportunity!”

I poked him in the chest to emphasize my point. “Correction: You’ve been talking about it, at me. And you’re not even denying that you’re doing this out of charity! Did you really expect me to go along with it?”

Josh huffed, obviously exasperated with my lack of cooperation. “Look: Dr. Hill said it’s good that we’re getting closer, and the next step is to meet the important people in each other’s lives. Mine happen to be my friends.” He looked down, then back into my eyes with renewed determination. “And yeah, giving you a vacation you haven’t experienced before, and probably wouldn’t be able to without me, is a bonus! I really want to get the gang together again, but Dr. Hill says I should have someone with me whom I trust if I’m going to be around so many people who aren’t intimately acquainted with my…situation.”

I realized we had stopped walking sometime during our heart-to-heart. I sighed, looking down into my cup. I really didn’t feel like being around new people, but Josh needed me. When I looked back up, I could see Josh trying to mask his hope with a smirk. I rolled my eyes. “Fiinnne, Josh. I’ll come. But if I find out you’re actually bringing me along for some really weird reason…you know exactly what I’m capable of.” I smiled into my cup at his slightly nervous expression.


	2. The Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sarah meets the gang.

“And this is Sarah Tyler, my friend from college.” Josh introduced me with a flourish, obviously enjoying putting me at the center of attention (which was decidedly outside my comfort zone). Because we both preferred to keep our treatments as private as possible, we had decided that my cover story was I studied child psychology at Josh’s college, which is how we had met. Supposedly. My actual occupation was babysitting, so I knew a little bit about the subject.

“Nice to meet you.” I smiled, trying to appear friendly and open.

The blonde guy, Chris, seemed suspicious of Josh. He asked “Why didn’t we know you were bringing someone new, Josh?”

I smacked Josh in the chest with the back of my hand. “Dude! You didn’t tell them I was coming? Why not?!”

Josh feigned injury, proclaiming “I thought a surprise would be fun! And I did tell my sisters, so.”

Everyone turned to face the twins. Hannah blushed under the scrutiny and looked at the ground while Beth just smiled, her eyes moving to Ashley, a red-haired girl. I glanced at her, too, only to catch her eye before she looked away.

After a few hours of trying to blend into the group (and realizing it was hopeless because I wasn’t part of their high school memories or jokes or stories), I managed to drag Josh into the kitchen so I could get some answers. Leaning against the counter, I folded my arms across my chest. “Okay, Joshua. Spill. What did you tell Beth about me that’s making her so giddy she can’t keep still?”

For show, Josh rubbed the arm I had pulled him by. “Nothing. I didn’t tell her anything. Just that I was bringing a friend from college…” he trailed off at my hard stare. Putting his hands up in surrender, he conceded. “Okay. Maybe I hinted that one of the reasons I was bringing you…was to make Ashley jealous.”

I blinked in confusion. “Ashley jealous? But Ashley likes Chris. And Chris likes Ashley. They’re both just too scared to ruin their friendship to—” I stopped abruptly, realizing what Josh was getting at. “What?! Ashley jealous of me?! That’s ridiculous! Chris is crazy about her and there’s no way he’d see anyone else like that, much less some stranger you just brought along.”

Josh nodded vigorously. “I know, that’s why it’s perfect! Chris doesn’t have to actually be into you! Ashley just has to feel threatened enough to make the first move, or make Chris do it for her.” Josh fidgeted, looking at me like he hoped our discussion was over.

Something didn’t seem quite right…”But why me, Josh? If all you needed was someone to flirt or come on to Chris, I’m sure you could’ve gotten someone else. Hell, I bet Jess could’ve been convinced, Chris is a great guy.”

Josh shook his head. “That wouldn’t have been believable. Chris knows he isn’t Jess’ type. And he doesn’t even go for girls who flirt and stuff. He likes Ash cuz she doesn’t do that.” 

“Well, okay. But I’m older than he is, I’m sure you could’ve found someone at school to do it, so why me?”

Josh looked uncomfortable, not speaking. And then it hit me. “Except another girl might’ve actually fallen for Chris. Right, Josh? So you had to find someone…who could be his type, but not reciprocate. Someone like me.” I felt so numb all of a sudden. “I was safe, the smart option.”

Josh looked contrite. “Sarah, look, I didn’t mean—”

I cut him off, quietly. “I would’ve done it, if you had asked, Josh.”


	3. The Prank

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sarah manages to prevent the whole premise of the video game from occuring by being a decent fucking human being (ya know, like Sam).

Just then, Mike burst into the room. “What’s up, porn stars!” 

I quickly ducked under his arm, and proceeded to avoid Josh for the next few hours. It wasn’t super difficult: his guilt seemed to have driven him to get wasted. Chris apparently sensed something was wrong with his best friend, so he joined him in solidarity. 

Which is how I found myself in the bathroom, trying to get my shit together. The only reason I had come was for Josh, and now that he was incapacitated, along with the real reason he had brought me here, I didn’t know what to do. His friends were all right, besides Mike being flirtatious, Emily being territorial, and Jess being…mischievous. When I had left, they all three seemed to be planning a prank on someone. As the newest member of the group, I figured it was some sort of initiation, so I was staying far away. Of course, if it was for me, why would they talk about it while I was in the room…?

I left the safety of the bathroom, suddenly apprehensive that someone else was their prospective victim. Walking past a closed door, I heard faint whispering and giggling. Bingo. Looking around, I didn’t see anyone else in the vicinity, so I quietly opened the door and slipped inside.

The room was dark, but I could see the shape of someone else facing me. “Hey, Hannah.” That was Mike’s voice. Why was he expecting Hannah? He’d barely acknowledged her all night long…except when Emily was in the room. Then, he turned on the charm, leave the girl a blushing, stuttering mess.

He shifted on his feet. “Glad you could make it.” He seemed to be waiting for something. “Maybe we should start with a little, you know, making out, and see where it goes from there.”

Oh. So it’s that kind of prank. All right. Two can play at that game. I started unzipping my coat, letting it slide off onto the floor. Then I began unbuttoning the sweater I had on underneath, slowly revealing a thin camisole.

“Ohhhhhh hell yeah.” Mike was definitely into it.

“Oh my God! She’s taking her shirt off!” Jessica really needed to learn how to whisper properly.

Suddenly, Matt stepped out of a wardrobe, and Emily rose from under the bed. I stopped undressing. “Well, now that the pretense is out of the way, I hope you like an older woman, Mike.”

“Wait, wha—“

Just then, Sam burst into the room. “Hannah!” She stopped, taking in the room, including the sight of me, partially dressed. “Sarah? What’s going on?”

I shrugged. “Oh, nothing much. I just heard a prank was going down, and I wanted in on the action.”

Jess stomped her foot like a child. “You ruined our joke, pervert! Now what are we going to do?”

I put my hand to my chin, pretending to think deeply. “Well, for starters, you could go to Hannah and explain what you had planned to do to her. Then apologize. And preferably leave.”

Emily sneered at me. “Tell her? Apologize? Why would we do that? The prank didn’t even work! And it was just some harmless fun, anyway!”

I just looked at her. “Then why is Hannah’s best friend not only obviously not a part of the prank, but also actively trying to prevent it?”

Jess snorted. “That’s easy. She’s just as much a stick in the mud as you are, apparently.”

I was evidently getting nowhere with these people. Turning to Sam, I said “I’m gonna go find Hannah. Maybe you can talk some sense into them.”

It didn’t take long for me to find Hannah. She was just at the end of the hall, preparing to enter the room I had just exited. Seeing me come from the room, clothing askew, hurt clouded her features. She made to retreat, but I caught her hands in mine. “Hannah, I need you to listen to me. I know you barely know me, but believe me when I say you don’t want to go into that room. Whatever Mike or whoever told you to convince you to come was a lie. They’re all waiting in there for you, hiding, except for Sam and Chris and your siblings, of course. Sam was looking for you to warn you, I think, but she didn’t find you in time.” 

Hannah’s attempts to break my hold had faded as I talked. With a desperate, pleading look in her eyes, she asked me “Why were you in there, then? And what happened to your clothes?”

I looked down at our joined hands. “I knew something was up, but I had assumed they were going to prank me. When I realized they were going to do it to somebody else, I went looking for them. They just assumed I was you, in the dim light, and I played along hoping it would distract them long enough that I could figure something out.”I looked back into her eyes, willing her to listen carefully. “I think it would be best if you stay away from them right now, Hannah. Maybe go to your room, and hang out with your sister? And Sam? There’s a blizzard going on and I don’t want anyone to get hurt.”

Hannah looked like she was about to say something in reply when we both heard running footsteps, followed by her sister’s voice calling out “Hannah!” As Hannah turned to look behind her, I released her hands and headed for the kitchen. I needed to be away from everyone conscious for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Where my UD fandom at?! There aren't many of us lol  
> For some reason, I have no idea what to tag for the this story, so let me know if you have ideas!  
> Thanks for reading! If you've enjoyed this, I have more to come!


	4. The Clean-up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sarah keeps herself busy.

I busied myself disposing of the empty bottles and cups, wiping up spills and hiding the unfinished alcohol. While I was doing that, I found the note left for Hannah. It made my blood boil, but I stuck it in my back pocket. I wasn’t sure if I was keeping it to save Mike from Josh, or to show Josh when he was up and sober again. I’d figure that out later.

Which brought me to my next dilemma: what to do with Chris and Josh. Considering what they’d be told when they woke up, I decided it was in everyone’s best interests that they not spend the night hunched over the counter.

So I put them both on the couch. It was a tight fit, but it was the closest semi-comfy horizontal surface and they were two grown men! They sure looked comfortable like that…I wondered if it was in Josh’s or even Chris’ best interest for Chris and Ash to finally act on their feelings. But considering how obviously close Chris was to the whole Washington family (even to my eyes, a relative stranger), maybe that relationship was doomed before it started. I had a hard time believing that even if Chris himself forgave Ashley for her complicity in the scheme, he’d be able to get involved with someone who had hurt anyone close to Josh.

But that wasn’t any of my business. Besides, my stay may not last much longer. I had obviously not endeared myself to any of the pranksters, and from Hannah’s reaction, it might be hard for her to separate me from the idea of getting between her and Mike being together. And if she needed me to be gone so she could heal, I’d definitely do that. 

Pondering the likelihood of that, I started getting my stuff together, just in case I had to make a quick exit. Before I considered permanently leaving, however, I decided I needed to talk to Sam or Beth about how Hannah was doing, and how safe she was from this kind of thing happening again.


	5. The Twins and Their Sister

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sarah, Hannah, Beth, and Sam deal with fallout from the prank.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk about the title. I wanted to convey that Sam is really close to Hannah and Beth, but I know it sounds weird -shrugs-

I ascended the stairs, trying to decide where Hannah’s room was likely to be. ‘Course, that was only if she had taken my advice, which she was under no obligation to do. It was just what I had thought would be best at the time. Looking around on the landing, I heard soft voices carrying on the silence. Following them quietly, I saw some steps leading to a room with purple walls, and Hannah sitting on a bed, being held on either side by Beth and Sam. They were both murmuring, trying to sooth her tears and sniffles. I drew back, not wanting to intrude on an obviously private moment, but was betrayed by the creaking of the floorboards when I stepped back.

All three girls looked up at me. Hannah ducked to hide her tear-streaked face and Beth held her tighter in response, but Sam got up from the bed and came towards me. 

I tried to explain myself. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude. I just wanted to see how you were doing, but I can come back, or not, if you don’t want me to—”

“Sarah,” Sam cut in, “Thank you.”

I stopped short and blinked. That was not what I had expected. 

Sam continued in the face of my undivided attention. “You stepped in for my best friend, against our own friends, even though you don’t know any of us very well. You saved her a lot of embarrassment and heartache.”

I looked at the crushed girl on the bed. “Really? Doesn’t look like it to me.”

This time, Beth spoke up. “Trust me, it would’ve been much worse if you hadn’t done something. Who knows, Hannah might’ve gotten lost in the blizzard while trying to avoid those assholes. Then where’d we be?”

I shifted restlessly. “Well, I’m glad that I could help.” 

I made to leave the room, but then Hannah spoke for the first time. “Won’t you stay, Sarah?”

I faced her slowly. “I gotta say, Hannah, I expected you to not want me here the most. I know how it looked when I came out of that room half-dressed, and all you have is my word about what actually happened in there—”

Sam interrupted me for the second time. “That’s not true, actually. Jess told me what happened, in her own way, and I stole Matt’s video for confirmation. What you said was true. We didn’t even need the visual part of the video; the audio was enough.”

“How do you know I didn’t just want Mike for myself?” I honestly had no idea why I was fighting their acceptance so much.

“Did you?”

I nearly blanched. “No. He’s not my type.”

“Well, there you go.” Like that solved everything.

“Please will you stay, Sarah? You’re obviously more my friend than any of the people in that room.” Hannah looked actually scared that I might refuse. Which, given my track record, was reasonable.

“Okay. I’ll stay.”


	6. The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sarah is a mother hen who has no time for Jess' or Emily's shit.

I woke up before the others the next morning. We had fallen asleep cuddling, and no one was more surprised than I was. I hadn’t expected to be included in the activity, but the girls had wordlessly pulled me into their fold. I untangled myself from the pile, making my way quietly down to the kitchen. I had decided that the best thing after sleeping off such an emotionally draining night would be a good breakfast. Something with protein and fat. I hunted around, getting out eggs and bacon. 

As they cooked and the aroma spread, I heard groaning emanate from the couch. Not turning around, I began plating the assorted egg-preparations I had made, not knowing who preferred what. To be safe, I made over-easy, over-medium, and scrambled eggs, hoping that each girl would find one they liked. I poked at the bacon, waiting for it to finish.

“Bro, what are you—oof!”

I glanced over my shoulder to see Chris stand up, looking flustered. Still groaning, he made his way over to the counter. Josh was slower, easing himself off the couch, then moseying over to sit next to his best friend. I grabbed some water from the fridge and put two full glasses in front of them.

Chris sighed appreciatively. “Thanks, Sarah.” He picked his up.

“Don’t drink it too quickly, Christopher, or you’ll make yourself sick.”

“Oooo, brohh, you got the full name treatment! You’re in trouhhhhbllllle!” I don’t know how Josh managed to be so chipper while sporting what I knew had to be the father of all hangovers. 

I gave Josh my best mom stare. “Joshua Washington, take this up to Hannah’s room.” I slid the finished breakfast platter over. He pouted. I added, “I’ll have food for you when you come back, but they have something to tell you.”

Unease flickered across Josh’s face. “‘They’? Who’s ‘they’?”

I just pointed out of the room. Josh sighed to seem annoyed, but I could see the brotherly concern as he moved faster than he had all morning.

I turned on the coffee maker, figuring Chris and Josh would need it. “How do you like your eggs, Chris?” I asked him with my back turned.

“Over-easy is fine.” I proceeded to prepare more food.

“What about bacon?”

“Anything you make will be great, Sarah. What’s going on?”

I poked at the food cooking, but resignedly faced him again. Looking him in the eye, I pulled out the note I still had in my back pocket from last night. Hannah, Beth, Sam, and I had stayed up late enough talking that we all had fallen asleep in our regular clothes. For the first time that morning, I realized I must look like crap, but I quickly pushed that thought aside. There were more important things to deal with right now.

While Chris unfolded and read the note, I returned to the food and checked on the coffee’s progress. When I faced him again, his expression was devastated. Looking up at me, horrified, he asked “Is Hannah all right? What happened?”

I looked down at the counter, collecting my thoughts. “I think Hannah is doing as well as can be expected. What happened is I heard a prank was gonna go down, and I followed the others--besides Sam-- into a dark room. Mike was the only one in plain view, and in the dark, he mistook me for Hannah. I…played along to distract them and keep them away from Hannah. Then, Sam barged in, looking for Hannah, and I left. I ran into Hannah, and told her what had happened, warning her not to go in and advising her to go to her room with Sam or Beth. Then Beth came along, and presumably took Hannah upstairs. I found that note after the fact.”

I faced the food again, having made three more helpings: one each for Chris, Josh, and me. I put one of them in front of Chris, and refilled his water glass while he processed all the information I had given him. 

“Well, that was really shitty of them.”

I half scoffed, poking at my own plate of food. “Yeah, I thought so, too. I don’t know what reasoning led them to do it, but I don’t have to to know it’s not sound. I’ve been here less than a day, and I’m already well aware that Hannah is kind, shy, and completely wonderful. I have seen some things that suggest she might have a thing for Mike, but that’s no excuse for something that would’ve clearly been humiliating for her.”

Chris snorted. “She has a bit more than a ‘thing’ for him. She’s flat-out in love. But like you said, that doesn’t make what they did okay. Especially Mike. Not only was he aware of how Hannah felt and took advantage of it, he also took an active role in the prank, regardless of how reluctant he might’ve been.”

We both chewed in silence for a while. When I had finished, I put my plate in the sink and turned to the coffee maker. 

Behind me, I heard “So…you said, everyone was there?” I could tell Chris was trying to sound casual about it.

I turned to face him, regretful of the news I’d have to give him. “As far as I could tell…There was Mike, obviously, Emily, Jess, Ashley, and Matt.” I looked down, giving him some privacy even though I was curious about his reaction. Noticing that he had finished his breakfast, as well, I took his plate and stacked it with mine in the sink. I moved to check on the coffee again, but felt a warm hand on my shoulder.

“Let me do that, Sarah. You don’t have to take care of me.”

I stepped away, flushing. “Right. Sorry.” I retreated to the eggs and bacon that were left, piling it all on a huge plate I had found and setting it down on the counter. Chris looked over from where he was pouring two mugs of coffee. 

“What are you doing? Who’s that for?”

I started scraping the egg and bacon detritus off the griddle, keeping my eyes on my work. “Even jerks have to eat, Chris.”

“What? No way! You’re not cooking for them?! They don’t deserve that, Sarah!”

I focused on keeping my voice steady and firm. “Eating isn’t something you deserve, Christopher. It’s something you need to do in order to survive.” I glanced at him over my shoulder, paused in the middle of stirring his coffee. “If you have a problem with that, you can leave the kitchen. Maybe go find Josh, wherever he’s gotten to.”

With my back turned, I heard Chris chuckle. Facing him again, I raised an eyebrow, silently questioning what was so funny. Chris held up his hands in surrender. “It’s just the first time I’ve seen you in action, is all.”

I returned to my task, muttering “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Chris scoffed in disbelief. “Please. I’m pretty sure I just got a glimpse of what Mike and the rest of them were up against last night.”

I didn’t really know how to respond. Luckily, I didn’t have to, because just then Josh entered the room, followed by Hannah, Beth, and Sam. Setting the empty platter on the counter, Josh retook a seat. Sam and Beth leaned on either side of him, while Hannah hung back.

Taking the platter, I looked at Hannah and smiled. “How’re you doing?” 

Hannah smiled softly at me. “I’m…okay. Thanks, Sarah.”

When Josh moved to take the plate piled with food, I smacked his hand and said “Your plate is over there, mister. This is for the others. Chris has some coffee for you, too.”

Chris came up behind me, carrying two mugs. “Actually, this was for you, Sarah. Josh can get his own.”

“Hey! What gives, bro? And did you really just say that you made food for those bastards, Sarah?!”

Chris shrugged. “Sorry, man. She made me breakfast. Therefore, I am her eternal slave. Also, I wouldn’t question her on the whole why-do-the-scumbags-get-food thing. Take it from me, you won’t win.”

“Damn right.” I looked at the mug Chris was proffering. “Thanks for the thought, Chris, but I don’t drink coffee. It was sweet of you, though.” I returned to cleaning the dishes.

“Geez, she doesn’t drink booze, she doesn’t drink coffee. Does everyone get that boring when they’re old?”

I hadn’t noticed Jess enter the room. As the rest of them trickled in, I replied “No, Jessica. It’s just me. Josh is my age, and he obviously doesn’t have a problem with either of those things.” Everyone turned to look at Josh, who was drinking black coffee in an effort to get rid of his hangover.

“Hey, I don’t need abuse this early in the morning, Sarah! Leave me alone!” He pouted, sticking his bottom lip out for effect.

As Jess, Mike, Emily, Ashley, and Matt came towards the counter, I wordlessly pushed the plate of food towards them.

“Is this an apology for spoiling our fun last night? Because we’re gonna need a lot more than eggs and bacon before we forgive you.”

Jess really needed to learn when to keep her mouth shut. I crossed my arms and planted my feet, staring straight into her eyes. “No, Jessica. This is not an apology. I have no reason to apologize to any of you. I stopped you from carrying out a cruel prank on one of your friends. I don’t care how much you deluded yourselves into thinking she deserved it. You hurt her, and that’s not okay.” I pointed at Jess. “You, by masterminding it.” Mike. “You, by going along with it and participating.” Emily. “You, by encouraging it.” Ashley and Matt. “And you two, by not stopping it.”

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes to settle my temper. “You’re lucky I’m not in charge, because if I was, you’d all be on your way as soon as you finished breakfast. Hannah doesn’t need the likes of you around her right now.” Or ever.

“Well, it’s a good thing you’re not in charge, isn’t it?” I opened my eyes to see Emily sneering at me.

“I dunno, she seems pretty in charge to me, all this big talk.”

“And what’s the deal with her and Josh? And Chris? Did Josh bring her along to share with his best ‘bro’? Have some fun?”

“She really likes taking care of them, doesn’t she? Maybe that’s her thing. She likes to play ‘mommy’.”

Those girls just make each other worse. Before either of the boys could react rashly, I said “I’m Josh’s friend. Chris is Josh’s friend. If you don’t understand that, I don’t know why you’re here.”

I left the room. But that wasn’t far enough, so I left the lodge, too. Sat on the snow-covered ground, and just tried to clear my head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still can't think of tags for this work :/


	7. Taking a Breather

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sarah needs some air.

I don’t know how long it had been before I heard shoes crunching on the snow. Still facing forward, I said “Josh, you don’t need to be out here right now. I’m fine, just needed some…space.”

No answer. Someone settled down to sit next to me. I turned to face him, and saw…Hannah.

I blinked in confusion. “Hannah? Is something wrong? Are you all right?” I looked back at the lodge, wondering what made her come out to find me.

Hannah smiled. “Nothing’s happened, Sarah. I just came to see how you’re doing. You’re always checking on other people. How are you?”

I shrugged. “I told you, I’m fine. I just needed to get away for a little while.” Then I realized something. “I should probably head back in so Josh doesn’t kill Mike. And Beth doesn’t kill Jess. And Emily. And Chris doesn’t die in the crossfire.” I started to shift, meaning to get up, when I felt two new hands on my back. I looked around, and saw Beth sitting down on Hannah’s free side, while Sam sat down on mine.

Beth scoffed at my previous comment. “Please. If I was gonna kill Jess and Em, I would’ve done it already. You going in right now would not help.”

I half-smiled. “Oddly, that doesn’t make me feel a whole lot better.”

Sam rubbed my back to get my attention. “Relax. Josh isn’t killing anyone.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Yeah? Why not?”

“Because he’s out here, in the cold, with you weirdos.” I turned around to see Josh pulling Chris towards our little group. He came around to the front, and dropped down in front of me. Staring intently into my eyes, he said seriously “You okay, Bad Wolf?”

I snorted and rolled my eyes at the nickname. “Really, Josh? In what way do I resemble that particular Doctor Who character?”

“I dunno, you are a badass takin’ care of people she cares about. Seems appropriate to me.” I looked up to see Chris shuffling a bit, still on his feet, but refusing to break eye contact.

“Plus, your last name is Tyler.” 

I looked down, my face warm despite the cold air. “It’s not a big deal, seriously. I just did what I would’ve wanted someone to do for me.” 

Hannah squeezed my shoulder. “Well, I appreciate it. Not only did you save me from that prank, you just stood up for me in there. And Josh and Chris. I can only speak for myself, but I’m really glad Josh decided to bring you along.”

That made me glance up at Chris, the real reason why I was there. How did he feel about Ashley now? How did he feel about Josh? And what did Sam think of it? She and Josh were very close, too…  
I returned my gaze to Hannah. “I’m glad too, Hannah.” I smiled, hoping that these strange and incredible people who surrounded me would get everything they deserved.


	8. Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sarah reveals a bit more than she meant to.

“Favorite color?”

“Green.”

“Favorite book?”

“ _To Kill a Mockingbird_.”

“Favorite person in the room right now?”

I looked up from the bottle of root beer I was holding. After Josh had made it clear that the pranksters were no longer welcome in the lodge, I had planned on leaving as well. I didn’t see Josh needing me anymore; his present company was definitely enough to ground him. However, Hannah protested. When I reminded her that they all barely knew me, besides Josh, she suggested we play a get-to-know-me game. Basically, Truth or Dare, without the Dare, and I was the only one playing. Fun. Some of the others were drinking again, so I had decided to grab a bottle of soda to maybe make them feel more comfortable.

And of course Josh had asked that latest question. “Well, you’re my least favorite for asking.” I smiled, teasing, then shrugged. “I can’t pick. Hannah is super sweet, Beth is funny, Sam is strong, Chris is a smartie, and even Josh has his moments.” I winked at him. “You’re all awesome.”

“Psh. Total cop-out.”

I rolled my eyes. “That’s my answer, Washington. Take it or leave it.”

“Ooooo, last name. Okay, how about this: who would you rather kiss?”

I tried to be casual, but stayed honest. “I’d kiss any of you.”

Beth whistled. “I didn’t know you swung both ways, Sarah.”

I didn’t respond. Even though that wasn’t quite accurate.

Josh seemed determined to get a specific answer out of me. “Who here would you have sex with?”

I could feel my face and neck heat up as I mumbled, hoping their tipsy hearing wouldn’t pick up on my “Same answer.” I quickly took a drink of soda, just for something to do in the reigning silence.

“You’d…have sex with any of us?” Hannah asked tentatively, like she was worried she’d misheard me.

I could hear my blood rushing in my ears as I struggled to stand up. We were all sitting on the floor in front of the fire, and right then I needed to be alone. So I could analyze just how stupid I had been to let it get this far. Luckily, the drinking made me the fastest. I managed to make it to a bathroom, locking the door behind me and just staring at my face in the mirror.

I had been so stupid. Why had I told them all that? And even with everything I had told them, they still didn’t know anything important about me. I was still keeping secrets, some of them not even my own. I was getting the negatives of being honest without the positives.

Okay. I had to think. Where was my stuff? I had left it by the front door…but hadn’t seen it recently. Had someone moved it? Maybe to Hannah’s room when I crashed last night? I had to find it before I could leave—

“Sarah? It’s me, Sam. Can I come in? I just wanna talk. Please?”

I hesitated, but then sighed. I’d have to face her eventually. Before I left.

I unlocked the door. She entered, then relocked it behind her. Turning to face me, she asked with a sympathetic look on her face, “Are you okay?”

That startled a bark of laughter from me. “I just admitted to being down for sex with five different people. All of them friends, and three of them siblings. God, I’m messed up. So no, right now, I’m not really okay. But it’s fine, it’s my own damn fault.”

Sam faced me where I was leaning against the counter. Crossing her arms, she said “You didn’t even wait for our response, Sarah.”

I looked at her, incredulous. “I don’t think I needed to, Sam. There’s really only one response for something like that.”

Sam shrugged. “I disagree.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Well, I appreciate you trying to smooth things over so we can all get along, Sam. But it’s unnecessary. I’m leaving. As soon as I get my stuff, you won’t have to worry about me anymore.”

Sam actually looked hurt. “Is that what you think, Sarah? That we want you gone?”

I really didn’t have an answer to that. It seemed pretty obvious to me. Who wouldn’t want that, after the scene I had made?

Sam took my hand. “C’mon. We’re gonna go talk to the others.” She cut me off as I started to protest. “You at least need to tell them you’re leaving in person.” I sighed. She was right. I let her pull me along to the room where everyone else had stayed. Apparently, discussing what I had said.


	9. A Little Lovefest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sarah learns how the gang feels about her declaration.

Everyone was standing when we re-entered. I expected Sam to go over to maybe Hannah or Josh, but she continued holding my hand, by my side. And I wasn’t gonna look that gift horse in the mouth.

“Didja mean it?”

I looked at Chris. His expression told me he was just as surprised as I was that he had broken the silence, and with that sentence. He didn’t take it back, though. Just waited for my answer.

I cleared my throat and looked at the ground. “Yeah. I meant it.”

“Why?” This time, Beth had spoken. Her eyes were sharp as she watched me intently.

I struggled to conjure up my reasoning for my stupid answer. “I like all of you. You seem like good people. And I trust you, and even though I’ve only known you for a day it doesn’t feel like it.” Now that I was talking, I wanted to get my apology out of the way so I could make a quick exit. “I’m sorry. I know it was out of line, and weird, but I’ve always been messed up when it comes to that kind of thing. I didn’t mean to drag you all into this—“

“What do you mean, ‘that kind of thing’?” I glared at Josh.

“You, of all people, should know what I mean by that, Joshua.” He opened his mouth to speak, but I interjected “Anyway, the reason I was here in the first place is kinda moot now. So there’s no point in my staying. I should just leave.”

Sam squeezed my hand. “Why do you keep saying that, Sarah? And what do you mean, the reason you were here in the first place?”

I looked down. “I can’t say.”

“Oh, don’t give us that.” I looked up to see Josh looking very fed up with my reticence. “If you won’t say it, I will.” He focused on the rest of the group. “I brought Sarah along to make Ashley jealous.” He narrowed his attention to Chris. “I wanted to push one of you into finally making a move, bro!”

Chris looked unimpressed. “Well, that’s definitely a lost cause now.” When Josh looked puzzled, Chris sighed in exasperation. “C’mon, man! Like I’d date someone who had a part in what they tried to do to Hannah!” He glanced over at her. “You mean too much to me. This family means too much to me.” Hannah smiled warmly at him, making his cheeks pink.

I cleared my throat to regain the group’s attention. “Which is why I should be leaving now. I’ve served my purpose…sorta.” I glanced at Chris. “Sorry that didn’t work out.”

Chris shook his head. “I told you, this is more important.”

I nodded. “Right. So I’m just gonna leave—“

“Seriously, Sarah, why are you so eager to be gone?”

I glared at Josh. “You know perfectly well why.”

“Yeah, you said that before. Why don’t you share what you mean with the class?” Josh swept his arm out to indicate the group.

I could feel my eyes start to sting and water. “Don’t do this to me, Joshua,” I said in a low voice.

Chris tried to step in, looking uncertain. “Look, man, if she doesn’t wanna tell us, she doesn’t have to. You shouldn’t force her—”

“I know exactly what she’s talking about, and I don’t see how it means she has to leave. So, I want her to explain.” He crossed his arms, obviously pleased with his argument.

I took a deep breath. So, this was happening. Sam squeezed my hand, and I looked up at her. “Chris is right, Sarah. You don’t have to share anything with us if you don’t want to.”

I squeezed her hand back. This was probably the last physical contact I’d get, so I was definitely gonna take advantage. “Thanks, Sam. And Chris.” I glanced at him, then looked back at Sam. “But it’s okay.”  
I closed my eyes to gather my thoughts. Might as well be as succinct as possible, minimize the awkward. “Josh brought me here to make Ashley jealous because he knows I’m not attracted to anyone sexually or romantically, so I wouldn’t go and try to take Chris for myself and make everything even more complicated.”

“That’s not the only reason, Sarah. I also knew you and Cochise would get along! Have a good time together!”

I continued like Josh hadn’t spoken. “What Josh didn’t seem to take into account is that even though I don’t feel sexual or romantic attraction, I still may enjoy some…activities that are considered sexual or romantic in nature. That even though I don’t lust after or crush on anyone per se, I do…sometimes…want to do things with them.” I looked down to hide my face as best I could.

“…So what you’re sayin is, you think you should leave cuz, what, you wanna kiss me? Hook up?” Chris looked slightly red, like he didn’t talk about that sort of thing much, but he also seemed to genuinely believe it wasn’t a big deal.

“That’s…not all.” I stared ahead, unfocused. “Even though I don’t believe I feel romantic or sexual attraction, I do experience…the desire to be with people in a not-strictly-platonic way. Friendship, as people see it now, doesn’t really encompass the depth of a relationship I sometimes want with people. Because of this, I’m not actually sure whether I am asexual and aromantic, or if I just can’t tell different attractions apart. No words seem to fit, but I know that when I think of traditionally sexual and romantic relationships…that’s not what I want.”

I looked at Josh. “It’s just easier for me and for the people in my life if I’m an aroace who is content being ‘friends’ with everyone. And you know that that’s how I want it, Washington.”

Josh screwed up his face in thought. “But it’s not what you want, is it? It’s what you’ve settled for because you think you can’t get anything better.”

“Seems like a lonely way to live, to me.” Everyone looked at Hannah. She blushed under the scrutiny, but continued “I just mean wanting to do things but not having anyone in your life with whom you feel comfortable doing them sounds hard.”

That hit way too close to home. I tried to shrug it off. “I babysit. Kids are great; they don’t overthink physical affection like we do.” That reminded me. “By the way, I don’t go to college with Josh. That was a lie.” Let’s see how they feel about that.

“Why would you lie about something like that?” Beth asked, proving she definitely wasn’t one to shy away from the tough questions.

“Because I asked her to.” I whipped my head around to look at Josh. He shrugged at my disbelief. “You’ve been pretty upfront, Sarah. Thought I should return the favor.”

“So…how do you know each other?” Chris seemed unsure whether to direct his question at me or Josh, so he glanced back and forth between us.

For once, Josh looked at me for permission. “I’m okay with them knowing if you are.”

I inhaled sharply, surprised. That was a major step for him. At his nod, I turned to Chris and answered “We go to the same psychiatrist. I’m being treated for depression and anxiety. And before you ask, no I don’t know if it’s affected my orientations.”

I started pulling on the hand Sam was holding, but she tightened her grip. I glanced back at her, but she just looked thoughtful. “Let me see if I understand: you think you should leave because you are no longer needed to make Ashley jealous and because you think we won’t want to deal with you wanting to do stuff even though you don’t feel the way about people those activities usually imply?”

I fidgeted. “Yep. That about sums it up.”

Sam shook her head. “Well I, for one, wouldn’t mind doing those things with you, Sarah.”

I blushed. “That’s sweet, Sam, but I won’t put you in that position.”

Sam pulled my hand towards her so that I was standing in the circle again. “Let me rephrase that. I’d enjoy doing those things with you, Sarah. I’d like to do those things with you.” 

“Hey! As the person who is the reason Sarah is here, I think I should get to do stuff first.”

“What are you talking about, Cochise?! I’m the one who brought her here. Therefore, I call dibs!”

I tried to smile. “As cute as you all are, I’m pretty sure I’m not the first person in line to be with any of you.”

“I’m appalled, Miss Tyler! What are you trying to imply—”

I cut Josh off. “You’re into Sam and Chris. Sam is into you. Chris is into you and Ashley. Until recently.” I glanced at the sisters. “I honestly don’t know where you two fall, but I’m sure you fit somewhere.”

For the first time that day, Josh looked uncomfortable. “Sarah, we’re all friends. You’ve got it all wrong.”

I shrugged. “Fair enough.”

“She was right about me.” Everyone looked at Sam. She looked slightly uncertain, but she held her ground. “With the addendum that I also like Chris, Hannah, and Beth.” She winked at her best friend, who blushed behind her glasses. 

“She was right about me, too.” Now Chris was confessing. “With the caveat that I also care about Sam, Hannah, and Beth.” His cheeks were slightly pink, but his voice was only slightly unsteady.

“With the exception of incest, I also dig everyone present.” Beth seemed to be the most confident in her declaration.

“I’m the same.” Hannah’s voice was surprisingly clear.

“Well, isn’t this a little love fest we’ve got goin on!” Josh still looked uneasy for some reason.

Sometime during the love confessions, Sam had moved to between Hannah and Beth, taking both of their hands. Chris now stepped forward towards Josh, putting a hand on his shoulder. “You okay, bro?” He said softly.

Josh chuckled weakly. “You just admitted to like-liking me, man. I don’t think you can call me ‘bro’ anymore.”

Chris snorted playfully. “I can call you whatever I damn well please, Washington.”

Josh raised an eyebrow and smirked. “Oh, really, Cochise? Is that a promise?”

While Chris was visibly struggling to maintain his momentum of courage, I slipped out of the room.   
Something good really had come out of my visit. All the friends who belonged together were now entering into a great big loving relationship.  
I crept up quietly to Hannah’s room, and succeeded in finding my bag. I then proceeded to the bathroom in search of anything I might’ve left behind. I couldn’t hear anymore talking down belong, so I knew I needed to leave soon, before—

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliff-hanger, but I couldn't find a better place to end the chapter :/


	10. Caught in the Bathroom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sarah is halted in her attempts to bow out unnoticed.

A pair of hands landed on my hips from behind. “Did you really think it would be that easy?” a voice murmured in my ear. Looking up into the mirror, I saw Chris staring back at me. I moved to face him, but instead he maneuvered us so his back was to the mirror and we faced each other.

I could feel his hands on my hips, each finger distinct. How were they so warm? The lodge was _not_ heated enough for that. I smiled up at him, hoping to divert his attention from whatever his purpose was in coming up here. “Hey, Chris. What are you doing up here? Shouldn’t you be downstairs with everyone else?”

Chris’ mouth turned up at the corners. “You took the words right outta my mouth.”

I tentatively put my hands on his shoulders, just so they wouldn’t hang awkwardly by my sides. “Chris, that’s really kind of you, but I don’t think—”

“You’ve been talking a lot lately about what you think. How about now I talk what I think?”

I nodded dumbly, more surprised by his interruption than anything else.

“I think that none of this would be possible without you. I think you did a good thing for more than one of my friends, the most important people in my life. I think that due to recent events, we haven’t gotten a chance to spend as much time together as I would like. I think you are a kind, brave, beautiful woman whom I’d like to get to know better.” Chris raised a hand to tuck some stray hair behind my ear, then looked into my eyes. “What do you think of that?”

My face had gotten steadily warmer as his speech had progressed. I could only guess how red it was because he was blocking my view of the mirror. “I think this all would’ve happened eventually. I think I’ve only done for people what I believe ought to be done by anybody, for anybody. I think it’s a shame we haven’t spent more time together, but you have other people whom you’ve known so much longer, who care about you. I think you’re a kind, smart, good-lookin guy who doesn’t know me well enough to make those kind of character judgements.”

Chris quirked a smile. “Then how can you do the same?”

I lowered my eyes to his chest, no longer able to meet his gaze. “Chris, I’m older than you are—”

“So is Josh, and that didn’t seem to bother you.”

“You two have history, that’s why! You’ve known each other forever, the age difference doesn’t even matter anymore. Did Josh tell you that I’m older than _he_ is?”

“Would you let up on that already? I like me an older woman.”

At the sound of Josh’s voice, I whirled to face him. Chris kept his hands on my hips, leaving Josh’s nowhere to go…  
They settled on my ass.

I hadn’t felt that kind of contact in…really, ever. Not on purpose, at least. In addition to my face, I could feel my ears heating up, the warmth also traveling down my neck into my chest.  
I decided that my coherency would depend on ignoring the situation, so I looked directly into Josh’s eyes. They were playful, as usual, but also included a seriousness I wasn’t used to seeing outside of the doctor’s office.

My hands pressed against Josh’s chest to steady myself.

“Josh! Could you please tell your friend here that he needs to let me go?”

Josh nodded. “Definitely. Cochise, let the lady go.” He leered at me playfully. “It’s my turn now.”

I thumped him on the chest. “Josh, I’m being serious!”

“So am I, honey. Are you telling you weren’t expecting that?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying! You’ve known me for long enough, Josh. You gotta realize that this isn’t gonna work!”

Josh's jaw visibly clenched. “And why is that?”

I spluttered. “Well first of all, we’re friends—”

“Aw, thanks, Sarah. I’m flattered.”

I glared at him. “So this would be really weird!”

Josh shrugged. “I don’t think so.”

I gaped at him. “Josh, come on! You were _definitely_ not on board with this a little while ago!”

Josh looked down. “That’s because I was thinkin some of the things that are probably going through your head right now.” He met my eyes again and stepped impossibly closer, causing me to back into Chris, his hands still a comforting weight on my hips. “For instance, I was thinking that I didn’t want to tie my friends to me like that, drag them down. It’s bad enough that they already worry about me, why involve them any further in my life if it was only going to hurt them?”

Now I was the one who looked down. Those thoughts _had_ occurred to me.

“But then I realized, they’re already tied to me. I can’t change the fact that they care, I can only push them away, and cause us all pain…or let them in, and maybe open the door to something really awesome.”

I tried again. “Look, I get that, Josh, and it’s great. But that doesn’t mean you have to involve _me_. I won’t be hurt, I promise. You don’t owe me anything for setting this in motion. Just because you’re willing to do that with some of your friends doesn’t mean you have to include everyone.”

Chris snorted, drawing my attention back to him. “Oh, we’re not. Mike, Emily, Jess, Ashley, and Matt are all emphatically not welcome in our love nest.”

Josh shoved his shoulder. “Really, dude? ‘Emphatically’? You’re such a nerd.”

Chris smirked at him. “You love it.”

I started shifting a bit, feeling skittish. Josh noticed and pulled me back towards him, his hands slipping into my back pockets to hold me close. “Hey. What’s wrong?”

I looked at my hands splayed across his chest to avoid meeting his eyes. “I know I said that I was willing to do… certain things with all of you. But I’ve never been a part of something like this. I can’t just jump right in, even if I wanted to. I…”   
I took a deep breath and shut my eyes. “I haven’t had sex before. I haven’t dated before. I haven’t even… kissed someone before. I am a complete novice at all of this, despite being older than all of you. And…I think I may have misled you all concerning what I want. I’m not taking back my answers, but what I meant was that I could see myself hypothetically kissing or having sex with any of you, because I feel comfortable around you. I trust you.”  
I opened my eyes and looked into Josh’s. “But I’m not ready for sex yet. I don’t know if I ever will be. It’s never been high on my list of things to do.” 

Josh’s mouth quirked up. “That’s fine with us, Sarah. Whatever you’re comfortable with.” He considered our current position. “Are you okay with what Chris and I are doing right now?”

I blushed, but nodded.

I felt lips brush my neck from behind. I gasped.

“What about this? Is this okay?” Chris murmured into my skin.

I nodded as best I could, my eyelids drooping at the pleasant sensation he was creating.

Josh raised a hand to cup my face, rubbing my cheekbone with his thumb. “May I kiss you, Sarah? You can say no; I’ll listen.”

Struggling to think through the haze Chris had caused, I mumbled “If you want.”

Josh smiled crookedly. “I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want.”

He made no further move, still focused on my eyes. I nodded, just in case he needed stronger confirmation.   
Apparently, that was it. Because then he leaned down, his eyes slowly closing. I kinda just stood there, not sure what to do other than close my eyes the rest of the way as well. 

It was unlike anything else I had ever felt. His full lips were a firm weight on my mouth, not pushing to take it any further. No tongue action, just a closed-mouth kiss, but I could feel my body heating up. It was very pleasant.  
When we parted, I opened my eyes slowly and then smiled. One of my hands had made its way up to Josh’s face in a mirror image of his position. 

Josh smiled as well. “Seems like someone is a fast learner.”

“Not that that wasn’t a _great_ view, but I think we should head downstairs and reassure the others that Sarah hasn’t bolted.” Chris squeezed my waist as he left, trailing his fingers through Josh’s hair on the way out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol, this isn't even smut and I'm blushing while I edit. I'm not used to writing physical intimacy! Even though I know it's not much :/ Sorry for the stopping point; apparently I didn't take chapters into consideration when I wrote this originally.


	11. Interest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh and Sarah clear up a few things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for my inactivity. Life is kinda hard rn :/

When Josh didn’t immediately follow Chris, I said “You know, you don’t have to do this.” 

He furrowed his brow in confusion. “Sarah, we just talked about this—”

I elaborated “No. I mean, even if you think one or more of your friends wants me for some reason, that doesn’t mean you personally have to be a part of it if you don’t want to.”

Josh’s expression darkened slightly. “Why would you think I don’t want you, Sarah? Was it the kiss that confused you?” I could tell that he was trying to tease but was genuinely concerned.

I looked down, blushing again. “I’m just saying, that you’ve never shown interest before, and—”

Josh put a finger to my lips, stopping me. “I never showed interest before because I never knew you were available, Sarah.” He lowered his hand, putting it on my waist. “You told me you didn’t feel romantic or sexual attraction, and you didn’t want a conventional relationship like that. You never told me that you babysit because kids are so much more open about physical affection. You never said you wanted anything from me other than friendship.”

“I do want friendship from you!” I blurted out. “I just…don’t feel like that encompasses everything I want, at least not how we use that word in everyday language.” I cleared my throat. “I want…cuddling, and hugging, and…kissing was nice.” I snapped out of that daydream, quickly poking him in the chest. “But I don’t want that from you if you don’t want it, too! People are not just interested when people are available, Josh! They flirt, and…other stuff that I know nothing about. You showed no indication of any of that!”

Josh was grinning by the end of my speech. “If I had been flirting with you, would you have noticed?” As I struggled to find an answer, he pulled me flush against his chest. “You’re right. People are interested even when people aren’t available. However,” he leaned closer to whisper in my ear, “just because I didn’t show it, doesn’t mean I wasn’t interested, Sarah.” He leaned back and looked up and down my body in a way I had never seen him do before. “You were a kind, strong woman my age who was in similar circumstances and understood me, Sarah. Don’t think that didn’t mean a lot to me. And on top of that, looking the way you do, how could I not—”

“Now that just isn’t believable.” I held up my hand. “I could possibly get the rest, but I’m not buying the appearance thing, Washington. You and I both know I’m not much to look at. And that’s okay. It makes it easier to reject unwanted advances when you don’t have any to worry about.”

I had planned to say more, but a hand was covering my mouth. Again. And Josh looked angry. “Look, Sarah, I know that you have issues with your body, because you feel it shows that you’re weak. But I’m here to tell you that it proves the opposite. This body in my hands right now,” he squeezed my hip, “is proof that you’re winning your fight against your illness because you are still alive. You sleep, you eat, you go to work, you function with this body. I don’t know what mass psychosis everyone else you’ve ever met has suffered from, but I like what I see. I like your hair, your face, I like you from the hands you think are bony to the feet you think are too big.” He took his hand away from my mouth and held my face with it. “Do you hear me?”

I shuddered, taking in a deep breath and releasing it. “I hear you. It may take me some time to believe you, though. Please give me that.”

Josh nodded in understanding. Then he looked thoughtful. “Do you remember how I talked when we first met?”

I cocked my head to the side. “Yeah, you over-enunciated all your words. It wasn’t super-obvious, but I could tell because I hadn’t known you very long.”

Josh nodded again. “Yeah. I had been doing it for a long time, but most people didn’t pick up on it. Then you asked me about it point-blank the first time we really hung out. I tried to blow you off, but you kept insisting you had to know.”

I shrugged. “I’m nosy, what more can I say.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Do you remember what I eventually told you?”

“You said you didn’t like how your voice naturally drawled. You thought it made you sound lazy, like a ‘stoned audiobook reader’. Your dad had put you through elocution lessons and everything.”

“Then you asked to hear it; my natural voice. When I eventually showed you, do you remember your response?”

“Of course. I said it was sexy. Which led to my explaining about my lack of attraction because I didn’t want to give you the wrong idea.”

Josh smiled, looking almost bashful. “That had been the first time anyone had ever complimented me on it. To me, it was something I had to correct. But you showed me that it could be seen as a good thing.”

I shook my head. “I still can’t believe no one ever told you it was sexy.” I blushed. “Actually…that was when I realized I wouldn’t mind having something with you, in some way. Ever since, it’s been hard not to think about what it’d sound like for you to say…certain things.”

Josh gasped, putting a hand to his chest in mock astonishment. “But Sarah, you never said anything! I can’t believe that you would have any kind of interest in me, and not show it outwardly!”

I shoved him playfully. “Yeah, yeah, I get it. This whole story has been a lesson. Very smooth.”

“So, you’re also the one I have to thank for Josh dropping the crisp diction? Damn, girl, you do everything.” Josh and I both turned to the doorway, where Chris was leaning against the door jam, arms crossed and a twinkle in his eyes.

Josh tried to laugh it off, but I could see pink in his cheeks. “Yeah, she’s a troublemaker all right.”

Chris walked over, but this time, wrapped his arms around Josh’s waist, and propped his chin on his shoulder. “Well, I definitely have to agree that I’m looking forward to hearing it in… other situations. Even though it makes concentrating around you that much harder.” He squeezed the for-once-silent Josh’s waist and let go, turning back to the door. Over his shoulder he called “C’mon. The others are waiting.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The speech thing with Josh is based on a silly headcanon I have: Rami Malek, the actor who voices him, has a very distinct (and pleasant) way of speaking. It got me thinking that, as the son of a prominent and wealthy family, if Josh shared the same speech pattern, it would likely be trained out of him. Idk, it just reminded me of how my brother used to take speech classes for a stutter (?)


	12. The Group

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sarah and Josh follow Chris back to the others.

Josh and I headed down with Chris. None of us said anything, and I couldn’t speak for the boys, but my silence was definitely due to nerves. Chris seemed to know where he was going, leading us into the room where we had had our six-way heart-to-heart so recently. The furniture had been moved a bit, the coffee table pushed back to make room on the floor in front of the fireplace. In the newly cleared space lay what looked like all the bedding present in the lodge, complete with lots of pillows.

I stood at the foot of the stairs, taking in the scene. Chris and Josh walked past me to the fireplace, presumably to light it and keep it going. I swept my gaze around, looking for the girls but not finding them. As I contemplated where they could be—maybe Hannah’s room? Or were they having second thoughts? Because that was totally valid—I felt hands come forward and cover my eyes.

“Guess who?” My stomach dropped in relief. 

“Beth?” I was pretty sure, but not certain.

The hands dropped and I turned around. Sure enough, there she stood. She snapped her fingers exaggeratedly. “Damn! How did you know it was me?” 

I smiled. “Just luck, I guess.” I tried to sound casual for my question in return. “Where are Hannah and Sam? Did they…change their mind?”

Beth half-smiled, obviously seeing through my nonchalance. “No, of course not. Actually…” She stepped closer, like she was about to tell me a secret. “Sam is currently convincing Hannah that she should be out here, too.”

My chest hurt in realization. “What? No, I don’t want Hannah here if she has to be persuaded! I didn’t mean…” I floundered. “I only want her here if she wants to be here, too.”

Beth smirked for some reason. “So, you do want her here?”

I blushed. It was exceedingly awkward to talk about this with her identical sister, apparently. I cleared my throat, looking down. “I stepped in for her for that prank after only knowing her less than a day, a few hours even. If that’s not indicative of how much she’s already affected me, then I don’t know what is. And sharing a bed with some girls I barely knew wasn’t easy for me either. But I did it, for her.”

I looked up to talk to Beth eye-to-eye, drive home my point. “But if she doesn’t want me, then—”

And I was interrupted by the feeling of soft lips on mine. My eyes widened in surprise, then slowly shut as I let the novel sensation take over. I have absolutely no idea how long it was before we separated, but I was out of breath, even though both of our mouths had stayed closed. I blinked down at Beth, who was smirking at me, a hand on my shoulder. 

She chuckled. “Sorry for the ambush. But it seemed like the most fun way to stop that line of thinking. Because it’s totally unnecessary. Right, Han?” She threw the last sentence over her shoulder.

And, to my horror, Hannah stepped into view. I couldn’t speak.

But apparently, Beth could. “See? I told you she wanted you to be a part of this! And so did Sam!”

Hannah smiled softly at her twin. “I know, Beth. You were right.”

“Heck yeah, I was!”

Before I could try to gather my scattered thoughts, Hannah took my hand gently and asked quietly “Will you lay down with me, Sarah? I don’t really wanna go any further tonight, if that’s okay.”

I snapped out of my funk so I could properly reply. “Of course I will, Hannah. That’s about as much as I’m ready for, anyway.” I squeezed her hand, and led her to the nest of blankets where I assumed we’d all be spending the night. I hesitated, then crawled into the middle so I could easily make room for everyone else. I held up the blankets for Hannah to get in next to me. When we were settled, I fidgeted, not sure what to do with myself. Taking a deep breath, I lightly wrapped my arms around her waist, scooting in to spoon her from behind. “Is this okay?”

Hannah settled back into me, pulling my arms tighter and holding them in place. “This is perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk if I'm just unobservant, but it seems like this story suddenly has a lot more hits. I hope y'all are enjoying it! Thanks for reading!


	13. Shocking Chris

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sarah and Chris get to know each other better.

I woke up slowly, warm and content and fuzzy-headed. I was holding someone, which didn’t happen often, and it was a nice feeling. Judging by the slim back pressed against my chest, I guessed it was one of the girls.  
Then I became aware of a presence behind me. Keeping my eyes shut, I searched my memory for what had happened last night. I could recall getting into bed (of sorts)…with Hannah. So she must be my spooning buddy. But after that, my mind clouded over. I could only remember feeling tired, more than I had realized previously. I must’ve been exhausted to conk out so quickly. Usually, it took me hours to find sleep…of course, usually I was also alone.

I slowly levered myself up to look over Hannah. I saw Sam facing her, their hands entangled. That made sense, they were best friends…Looking further, I saw Chris holding Sam similarly to how I was holding Hannah, though maybe a bit more overtly protective. I tried to focus, wake my brain up: Josh and Beth were probably behind me somewhere.  
And that drew my attention to the slim arms around my own waist. I smiled inwardly. Both boys were on the edges of the group, like guards? I was surprised they allowed themselves to be separated.  
Then Hannah shifted, and I realized what must’ve woken me up in the first place: I really had to use the bathroom. Badly.

Trying not to jostle anyone, I slipped out of the cuddle pile and padded up the stairs to the only bathroom I knew about, the one with the bathtub. After I had taken care of my business, I decided that it would be a good idea to bathe as well: I was still in the same clothes as I had been since I arrived. All the upheaval going on had kept me from my bag and spare clothes, and I was definitely feeling the effects.  
After I finished my bath and wrapped myself in a towel, I went back downstairs to the group. Most of them were still in dreamland, but Sam was in the process of getting up, stretching her muscles and working out any kinks. When she turned around and faced me, I stepped forward.

I had had an idea. “Hey,” I whispered. “Do you know where the laundry room is? I think it’d be a good idea to do some loads.” Sam nodded in agreement, smiling, and led me to a room that had several washers and dryers. After I thanked her, I hesitated, but asked “Would you do me a favor and bring me the dirty clothes from the hampers? I’d rather do a full load.”

Sam smiled again, warmly. “Sure thing, Sarah.” 

While she was gone, I started sorting my own dirty clothes into separate piles for the loads. After she brought me the laundry, she left again, presumably to return to the others and maybe make breakfast. 

As I was sorting the rest of the laundry, the towel around my body kept slipping. I got tired of readjusting it, and since no one else was in the room with me, I just mentally shrugged and took it off. It should be washed anyway, and I preferred to air dry when I could, so I just continued with my task, humming/singing softly.

I hadn’t shut the door because the laundry room was far away from where everyone else was, and I wanted to be able to hear if something happened. Also, I liked the reminder that I wasn’t alone in a relatively strange place. I didn’t expect to take very long, so someone coming to find me wasn’t a concern. 

I was loading the last washer when I heard someone say “Hey, Sarah, how do you like your eg—”  
Suddenly, the voice stopped. I shut the washer and turned around to see what was the matter, and saw Chris standing in the doorway, first staring, then quickly looking down at the floor, blushing and stuttering “S-sorry, I should’ve knocked,--"

Because I often went nude after I showered at home, I was used to the feeling and didn’t understand right away why he was so uncomfortable. Then I looked down at myself, and blushed. I turned back to face the washer so I could give Chris some privacy to have his reactions.

“It’s okay, Chris. I was doing laundry and decided to wash my towel, too. Didn’t mean to spring it on you like that.” I took a deep breath. “Would you mind leaving your over-shirt on the doorknob? My clothes are in Hannah’s room and I obviously didn’t think this through.” I tried to be light about it, so he knew he hadn’t offended me or something.

“R-right, sure, of course, Sarah.” I heard some rustling, then silence. I waited a few more seconds to be sure, and then turned around. Sure enough, the plaid button-down Chris had been wearing over his t-shirt was there, swaying gently. I pulled it on, buttoning it fully so as not to take any chances. Unfortunately, my height meant that it barely covered what it needed to, but it was better than nothing. 

I tried to get to the stairs without being noticed, but it wasn’t meant to be. 

“Hey, Cochise! Is that your shirt that Sarah’s wearing? How did you manage that?”

I turned around to see Josh still lounging on the makeshift bed, with Chris leaning on the kitchen counter. He blushed and ducked his head, so I summoned a smile to defend him. “Some of my clothes are in the wash, so Chris let me borrow this while I get my spare outfit.” It was kinda true. They didn’t need to know that at home I often wandered around without clothes. No need to make it weird.

Beth grinned. “Does that mean Christopher here walked in on you in your birthday suit?” She was obviously enjoying the idea. She and Josh were much too similar.

I could feel my face heating up again, but I tried to laugh it off. “Yeah, I gave him quite the eyeful! Thankfully, it didn’t last too long.” I hurried off to Hannah’s bedroom to avoid any further discussion.

I was rooting through my backpack when I realized something: I had taken my bag to the bathroom when I was planning to leave yesterday, so why was it back in Hannah’s room? Maybe Chris had moved it back when Josh and I were occupied…

“Hey.” I looked up to see Sam leaning against the doorjamb, a thoughtful expression on her face.

I immediately straightened so I didn’t accidentally give her the same treatment Chris had received. “Hey, Sam. Thanks for your help earlier! Can you believe I forgot to bring clothes to wear?” I shook my head at myself, hoping she’d just go along with it.

She didn’t. “You know, it’s okay if you like not wearing clothes all the time. We’re not gonna judge you.”

I forced a chuckle. “It may be okay when I’m alone, Sam, but I gotta think about the other people here, too. I know you’re all not gonna judge me, but no one wants to see that.”

Sam smiled, but it looked melancholy. “I think you’re mistaken, Sarah. I would bet my hiking boots that the only reason Chris reacted the way you said he did was because he was surprised.”

I was getting uncomfortable with the extended discussion of this topic and where it was heading. “Of course he was surprised! People don’t just walk around naked! Especially—" I cut myself off, then continued. “Especially if they don’t want something very specific.” I looked down, away from Sam’s gaze. “I’d like to stop talking about this now, if you don’t mind, Sam.”

I heard rustling as Sam shifted, presumably to leave the room. “Of course, Sarah. I just want you to know, though…if you _did_ like being nude, we wouldn’t assume that meant you wanted anything besides what we’ve already talked about.”

I fought to hold back tears as I dressed for the day. What had I done to deserve such caring, understanding, amazing people?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers,  
> exams, finals, and projects are coming up for me in school, so I may not be as faithful as I'd like in updating. I'm going to do my best, but a lot has been going on in my life recently and it's possible I won't update weekly. Just wanted y'all to know (I'm sorry)  
> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it :)


	14. Alcohol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang learns more about how Sarah sees herself.

Alcohol was gonna be the death of me.  
Hopefully not literally, but there was definitely a reason I didn’t usually drink.  
After what had happened with Sam and Chris, I was shaken up enough to accept a beer from Josh. It had been a few hours, but it was still on my mind. I trusted the people I was with, I knew they’d take care of me, so I felt safe enough to not be on guard the whole time.  
That was a mistake.  
Because as soon as Josh saw that I was more than halfway done with my beer, he suggested we play another game. To get to know each other. And he must’ve known that I was just drunk enough to go along with it. I had always been a lightweight, especially because I didn’t drink very often. I don’t know how he seemed to know that about me, but I was focused on other things.  
Like how he had started out our game of Truth or Dare (how original) with asking Chris about what had really happened that morning, resulting in my wearing his shirt.

I felt something freeze in my chest, but Chris looked like a deer caught in the headlights, so I tried to divert Josh’s attention. “C’mon, dude, we already told you what happened. You know me, so whatever you’re thinking about right now, it didn’t happen, okay?”

Josh grinned at me. “Oh, I know you two didn’t get up to any hanky-panky, Sarah. But I also know from the way you two reacted this morning that there’s something you’re not telling us. We’re all friends here! So, spill.”

I sighed, frustrated at his stubbornness. “Look, Chris walked in on me doing laundry naked. He wasn’t prepared for that, so he left and I took his shirt to wear until I could get to my own clothes.” I huffed in exasperation. “That’s all there was to it. Happy?”

Josh pretended to consider. “Hmmmm…no. Because I asked Chris. But thank you for your input.” He turned back to Chris. “Okay, how about instead, you tell us what your first thought was when you saw Sarah?”

I tried one last time to stop the train before it crashed. “I’m sure it was, ‘why did Josh bring his random older friend to the lodge?’.”

Josh just waved me off. “I meant today, not when he first met you, and you know it. So, Cochise? What did you think?”

I could feel my stomach roiling. Nauseated, all I could think was ‘Why is Josh doing this to me?’

“I thought, ‘Wow. Damn.’”

Josh nodded fake-seriously. “Very succinct. Could you explain to the class what you meant by that?”

I broke. “Why are you making him do this, Josh?!? Why are you making him say these things? I already know, you don’t have to rub it in.” I could feel tears pricking my eyes. The beer was making it harder to keep as tight a lid on my reactions as I usually did.

Josh was looking at me with wide eyes. “Sarah, I didn’t mean—“

“I know that you’re doing me a favor by letting me be a part of this. I know I‘m not…not like you all, I don’t belong here. But if you wanted to stop, you could’ve just said so. I…I would’ve understood.” My heart felt too big for my chest, and something was lodged in my throat, making it hard to breath. I tried to swallow around it as unshed tears made my vision swim.

Strong arms circled around me as I struggled to stand up, pulling me into a warm chest. Chris’ voice sounded by my ear. “What are you talking about, Sarah?”

My chest was heaving with the effort not to cry. “I-I’m s-sorry you had to see me n-naked, Chris. I d-didn’t mean for it to happen, I s-swear.”

Chris’ arms tightened around me. “I know, Sarah. I believe you.”

Relief washed through me. It was good that he believed me.

“Why don’t you want to know what I meant, Sarah?”

My heart turned to stone. “I already know what you meant.”

“What did I mean?”

I burrowed deeper into his hold, even though he was the one questioning me. “Please don’t make me say it, Chris.” You can’t be that cruel.

“He thought, ‘Wow. She’s so damn beautiful, just by standing there.”

I wiped my eyes, and looked up to see Josh smiling crookedly at me. “He told me after you went up to change this morning.”

I felt my face burn. This was so humiliating. “I don’t believe you. Why would you ask him if you already know the answer?”

Warm breath hit my ear. “Because he wanted you to hear it, Sarah.”

I squirmed. I needed to get out of here. “I know you two are just trying to be nice, but—“

Chris cut in. “This isn’t me just trying to be nice, Sarah. I was trying to be nice by not saying anything because you seemed so uncomfortable talking about it, but Josh insisted that you had misunderstood my reaction.” He squeezed me. “Turns out he was right.”

I tried a different tactic. “Well. Thank you, then.”

Josh half smiled, half frowned. “You still don’t believe us.” He sighed, running a hair through his hair. “What do we have to do to make you understand, Sarah?”

“Maybe she’s not the one who doesn’t understand.” For the first time in a while, Hannah spoke up. “Maybe we don’t understand.”

Sam put her hand on her best friend’s shoulder. “What do you mean, Han?”

“Maybe, we should ask her why she thinks what she thinks.”

Beth nodded. “I think that’s a good idea.”

Jeez, now I was even more at the center of attention than I was before. This whole ordeal was definitely sobering to say the least.  
I tried to focus on Josh so I wouldn’t get overwhelmed. “Josh, I already told you that I know I’m not much to look at. You don’t need to try to change my mind.”

Josh’s mouth tightened. “And I told you that you’re wrong, Sarah. You are worth _staring_ at.”

I threw up my hands at his words. “That isn’t helping me, Josh! It’s making it worse!” I took a shaky breath. “At least, if I’m not physically attractive, then it makes sense why no one’s been interested in me up until this point. It’s easier for me to live my life believing that what I see is different from what the world sees. If what you say is true, and I’m…not plain…then why has no one…cared? Why is my appearance so unimportant?” I shrank in further on myself. “Just let me be. Let me keep my worldview. Please.”

Josh nodded, obviously not happy, but still seeming to concede my point. It looked like I had won.

“I’m sorry, Sarah. But I can’t agree to that.” 

I tried to turn around to face Chris, but his embrace remained unbreakable. 

“Josh may be able to pretend, for the sake of your comfort, but I have some stuff to say first.” Chris bent close to your ear, speaking lowly. “He didn’t see you, Sarah. He didn’t see what I saw. If he had, trust me: he would not be this easily persuaded.” 

I could feel the heat, from the conversation and the beer, stain my face and neck. 

“You are perfect, Sarah.”

“I’ve seen myself without clothes on, Chris. I’ve seen what you saw, and I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Chris nuzzled behind my ear. “You’re so used to seeing yourself, Sarah, you don’t know what you look like to someone else.”

“I think I have an idea of what Chris is talking about.” I turned to face Josh as he continued. “If what you looked like to Chris was anything like what you looked like to me in his shirt, then, it must’ve been incredible.”

Chris groaned behind me. “Jesus, you in my shirt. I think the only thing I’ve seen better was you without it. Your hair still damp, dripping down your back. Your skin flushed.”

Josh nodded in agreement. “You looked like you belonged in that flannel, Sarah. Like you had just woken up in his bed and thrown it on to appear decent.”

“You were totally indecent, by the way,” Beth put in.

“I, I’m sor—” I started to apologize, but a finger was pressed to my lips to halt my words.

“She means, you looked good, Sarah. Good enough to eat.” Sam, this time.

That wasn’t any better. “I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.”

“What do you mean? If there’s anyone who’s uncomfortable right now, I think it’s probably you, Sarah.”

Ain’t that the truth. “I just don’t want my…proclivities to make you want things that I can’t give you.”

“’Proclivities’? Where do you get these words from, Sarah?”

I shot Josh a hard look. “I can’t give you sex, Josh! Not right now, maybe not ever! And nudity tends to have sexual connotations. If y’all _do_ like how I look, I don’t want to…” I struggled to find words.

“Turn us on and leave us hanging?” Of course Beth would not shy away from that.

Hannah shifted closer to me. “Does it bother you, knowing that we might be attracted to you, Sarah?”

I blushed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to assume—“

“That’s not what she asked, Sarah.” Josh had no right to be that serious.

I looked down at my hands, and my forgotten beer. “No, it doesn’t bother me. It should bother me that I can inspire feelings in you that I can’t return, but I just feel…flattered. And…wanted.” I blushed so hard at that admission.

“Thank God.” I looked up questioningly at Beth. 

She shrugged. “What? I like my women. And I have no clue what I would’ve done cuz I can’t exactly shut it off.”

“I agree.” Josh smirked crookedly.

I shook my head in exasperation. “How can you all be okay with this? Wanting something you can’t have? There’s so much I can’t offer you that someone else could.”

“There’s like six of us, Sarah. I think we can manage not having sex with one person, besides siblings.”

“You don’t understand, Chris. It’s not just sex. It’s the feeling behind it. I don’t know what it’s like to desire someone. I don’t know what falling in love feels like. I can’t really tell one attraction from another, because I have so little to go on. How am I supposed to understand something based on what it feels like not to have it?”   
I shut my eyes to focus and hopefully make more sense. “I can’t date you in any of the conventional ways. I want to do date-y things, like spending time together, and cuddling, and maybe kissing, but I can’t want it in the same way you do. I won’t be driven like you are. And when I do want things, it will only be want. I won’t physically need you, like all the romance novels say I should.” I took a deep breath. “I just want you to know what you’re getting into. Your relationship would be so much easier if you just left me out.”

Josh scoffed. “Whoever said the easy way was the best way?”

I rolled my eyes in return. “Really? When have you ever taken the hard way when the easy way will do?”

Josh’s face closed up slightly, but he still answered “When I went in for treatment.”

My stomach dropped. “You’re right. Shit, I’m sorry, Josh. I didn’t think. I—"

He cut me off. “It’s fine, Bad Wolf.” He grinned. “We’re good. Just trust me when I say I can tell when the hard way is worth it.”

I nodded, unsure of what to say next.

Apparently, Sam wasn’t having the same problem. “Well, I think we should turn in, because we’re all drunk and not in the right state of mind to make decisions.” Always looking out for us.

As I slid under the covers of our group bed, I heard whispering. Were the others staying up? Was something important being discussed? Maybe I should join them…


	15. The Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang try to make Sarah feel better, but she catches on and turns it around.

“I’m so glad you’re here.” 

I froze in what I was doing, which was tidying the makeshift bed. Maybe it was a sign of my neat freak or controlling tendencies, but I didn’t want to see it haphazard for the second day in a row. “Um. Thanks?” I wasn’t sure what had brought that on, but I welcomed any indication from Hannah that she enjoyed my continued presence.

“It’s true. If you hadn’t been here, who knows what would’ve happened with that prank? We’re really lucky that Josh was so blind as to want to get Ashley and Chris together through manufactured jealousy.” Beth knelt down to help me straighten things after her little speech.

I couldn’t help but feel a small pang at her words. I knew that I had been helpful, to the Washingtons especially, so I didn’t want to analyze why Beth’s addition made my heart sink.

Hannah stayed seated on the couch we had moved aside, holding a mug in both hands. She tilted her head in thought. “That’s not what I meant, even though I guess it’s true. I was referring to how I’m glad I got to meet Sarah at all. If Josh hadn’t seen that she and Chris would get along, she may never had been introduced to the group, and I’m just glad she’s here.”

Beth nodded. “Yeah, I get you.”

I got up, having finished the bed, and headed towards the kitchen. I tried to laugh it off. “Yeah, and we all know how well that went! I guess Josh didn’t fully understand what being aroace means for me. It’s not like I had the means or inclination to lure Chris away from Ashley.” I proceeded to gather up the empty mugs lying around, putting them in the sink.

“I dunno. I think he was pretty spot-on. We’ve been getting along well, haven’t we?” Chris bumped his shoulder with mine, then sat down at the bar across from me.

I blushed. “We get along well, but that wouldn’t be enough to make Ashley jealous. We would’ve needed to be into each other; one of us should’ve appeared interested.”

Chris smiled. “Well, considering I was interested, I think Josh’s plan worked just fine.”

“But you had a crush on Ashley!” I protested.

“Yeah, Cochise! How could you imply that you or anyone could be interested in more than one person at once! It’s not like we’re all involved in one big relationship together or anything!” Josh leaned on Chris, smirking at me.

I looked down, embarrassed. “Right. Sorry.”

I tried to turn around to distract myself by doing the dishes, but slender arms encircling my waist and a body pressing against my back stopped me. “I love the fact that you take care of everyone, including the douchebags who tried to prank my best friend.”

I patted the hands on my stomach awkwardly. “Thanks, Sam. That’s really nice of you.”

Josh leaned on the counter, propping his head up on his fist in a parody of a lovesick teenage girl. “I loved seeing you in Cochise’s shirt. It looked like you had just gotten out of bed with him. That was my first indication that I might be a bit unconventional when it comes to the type of relationships I want. I’m greedy like that. Want you all to myself… and everyone else.” He grinned.

I snorted.

Chris smirked. “I think we all know what my favorite look of Sarah’s is.”

And just like that, my face was burning up again.I decided it was time to admit that I knew what they were trying to do. “Look, I appreciate what y’all are trying to do, but it’s not necessary.”

Sam hooked her chin over my shoulder. “What do you think we’re trying to do, Sarah?”

I turned around, forcing her to release her hold on me and step back. “You’re obviously trying to make me feel better by saying nice things about me. It’s really sweet, but you don’t have to do that. I’m fine, okay?”

Josh snorted. “Well, excuse me if I don’t believe you, after what happened last night.”

I looked down at my feet, trying to hide my face. “Nothing happened. Let’s just forget about it.”

“Sarah, we wouldn’t say these things if we didn’t mean them.” Hannah looked earnest, like she really wanted me to believe her. 

I shrugged, trying to play it off. “I know that the things I said last night really bothered you.”

“Yeah, because they’re not true!” Josh was really getting agitated about this.

“I disagree. I understand that you see me differently from how I see myself, but when I tell you no one has tried to date me before, I’m not lying. When I say I’m unattractive, it’s based on facts that I’ve lived. Denying things that I know to be true is not helping anything.”

“But we’re not, Sarah.” At my incredulous look, Beth continued. “All we’re saying is that we see things you don’t, and apparently things that other people haven’t seen either. Or, they just never bothered to tell you that they could.”

I fidgeted nervously. “I can’t promise I’ll ever believe you. I know that you believe what you say, but that’s not the same as feeling it to be true for myself.”

Chris smiled crookedly. “Well then, you’ll just have to let us tell you and show you. Until you do.”

“Only if I can do the same for all of you.”

Josh sighed dramatically. “I shoulda known she’d turn it around on us.”

Sam’s eyes twinkled. “Seems fair to me.” She was looking at Hannah when she said it, who blushed when she realized the same. Beth only rolled her eyes, but she seemed pleased, too.

The deal had been struck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the long delay (again). Considering my mental health, I can't promise to post on a schedule like I did before. School is out for the summer, but now I'm at home and that comes with its own issues. Thanks for reading and sticking with me. I hope you've enjoyed it.   
> I'm sorry if this chapter isn't up to snuff; for my peace of mind, I needed to post something.


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